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Dominick's Won't Have None of It

Submitted by Leo Klein on Sat, 10/29/11 (7:27pm)

The Dominick's at Fullerton and Sheffield had signs on all the entryways saying, 'Sorry, No Masks Allowed in Store!"

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Give Me a Chicago Butt - Or No Butt at All!

Submitted by Leo Klein on Tue, 7/19/11 (10:55am)

You know, when we look up the dress of a 26-foot statue in the middle of downtown, we have every right to expect the butt we see there to scream, 'Chicago' from cheek to cheek.

So if they ever do this again, I suggest they use Mrs. O'Leary maybe or Oprah Winfrey -- clad of course in nothing but a bra and girdle. That way they'll have someone with connections to Chicago (finally) while still appealing to boys in 5th grade.

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End of World Especially Inconvenient This Year

Submitted by Leo Klein on Thu, 4/28/11 (1:37am)

What kind of scheduling is this? The end of the world is suppose to happen this year on May 21, 2011? Huh? How inconvenient! Not only is this two days before I'm supposed to celebrate my birthday (gift-givers, please adjust your calendars) but it's two days before Lady Gaga is scheduled to release her new album as well as two days before Lykke Li is supposed to appear at the Smart Bar in Chicago. I'm sorry but if they really want to end the world, they're just going to have to schedule it on a more realistic date.

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Devastating News from Amazon

Submitted by Leo Klein on Sat, 2/5/11 (9:10am)

Wonderful! Look what Amazon's recommending to me. Not only do they think I'm a vegan but an overweight vegan at that. I'm devastated.

amazon_veganist.png

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  1. Move in the Winter.
  2. Move in the Winter -- with you doing much of the work yourself along with your trusty hand-truck.
  3. Redesign the website at work while everyone's off on vacation -- and you ought to be schlepping boxes.
  4. Embark on a 2nd ambitious web project before the first one is complete (see above).
  5. Install that brand new copy of Adobe's 'Master Collection' (CS5) even though you know you could probably do without it for the next week or two.
  6. Assess your hardware and software needs for the coming year and try to order everything before the end of this year.
  7. Warning! Warning! Your health insurance plan is no longer any good since (1) your primary care physician (PCP) is retiring and besides (2) the medical group he worked for (Rush Medical) is no longer available through your crummy plan (BCBS IL HMO). Either you pick a new plan before the deadline or you'll automatically be enrolled in...
  8. Is there a smart phone out there that's caught your eye? Well, if not, you'd better start looking since your 2 year contract with AT&T is about to end and if you don't get a new phone now, AT&T will make you wish you had.
  9. Here's an idea: Why not just sit on your butt and try to think of 10 things you should be doing? That way, you'll avoid doing anything at all!
  10. And finally, just say 'What the hell', throw a party and invite everyone you know.

Fat Tweets? Oh the Humanity!

Submitted by Leo Klein on Sun, 8/15/10 (11:29am)

So this is what the big boys are all excited about? 'Fat tweets'? The ability to tease out a whopping 141 or more characters in a completely text-based messaging system? Can we resurrect the telegram while we're at it?

twitter logo

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Is the New York Times in Love with Apple?

Submitted by Leo Klein on Sun, 6/27/10 (10:41pm)
NYT_in_love_w_Apple_640x480.jpg

Is the New York Times in love with Apple? Or did they just not have anything better to write about this week? Here's the first screen of today's 'Technology Section' in their neat 'Skimmer' format (larger image here).

Of the 18 articles on the first screen, 7 are about either the iPhone, the iPad or a commentary on whether Apple's getting too big for its breeches.

And that's okay but maybe for the sake of accuracy they should rename the thing the "Half Apple Section"?

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I'm writing this with Tears in my Eyes

Submitted by Leo Klein on Wed, 6/9/10 (11:18am)

Please, people, stop sending me this crap email spam! You say you were all mugged in a park near your hotel in Wales? Congratulations!

Who knew that Wales was such a dangerous place? But in any case, you also say you're all stuck there now? What's wrong with that? I'd love to be stuck in Wales!

So stop sending me this crap email spam! Just calm down -- all of you -- and enjoy the place!

Things I Noticed While Filling out the U.S. Census 2010 Form

Submitted by Leo Klein on Sat, 3/20/10 (4:09pm)

census.png

  • It looks like the mailman just dumped a form into everyone's mailbox without really checking apt. #s.
  • I notice they only have three digit spaces for age.
  • It looks like a hell of a long form -- until you realize that most of it is for "Person 2" to "Person 12".
  • What about "Person 13"?
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