New Sony eReader Ad: 'Smarter than a Doofus'
Advertisement near the escalator at the Clark & Lake El Stop in Chicago:
'Smarter than a doofus who bought one of these things (your doofus may vary).'
Half-Serious
Posted in Submitted by Leo Klein on Thu, 01/10/2008 - 6:44am.
Top 10 Reasons Not to Compile a Top 10 List
- Everyone's doing it.
- What about 'Top 3' or 'Top 12'? What's with '10' all the time?
- I'd feel better about this if it didn't happen in December. Who's got the time? Better in August.
- Sorry, I'm not going to bring up the iPhone or the Kindle again under any circumstances.
- I'm still waiting for my Avatar to arrive from Second Life.
- I'm thinking of doing a 'Top 3,000' over the course of the next 10 years and don't want to commit myself to a measly 'Top 10' this early in the process.
- Got no time: My new book, Everything As Conversation, either goes to the publisher this month or my goose is cooked.
- In a year where Vladimir Putin and 'woot' are top picks, maybe the less said the better.
- It's not my problem if you're the last person on earth to hear about '2.0'.
- 2007? Wake me up when it's over.
Posted in Submitted by Leo Klein on Tue, 12/25/2007 - 12:12am.
Ethics in Illinois
The annual online State of Illinois Ethics test is coming round again. All State of Illinois employees have to take it.
This is the test that famously disqualified thousands of participants last year not for getting the answers wrong but for getting them right in too little time.
So this is how I plan to 'game' the system this time round: After answering the first bunch of questions, I'll go out and rob 5 banks, shoplift enough school supplies to last me a whole year, steal the identities of six dozen people, and swallow half a pound of grapes at the supermarket without paying for them. This will still leave me enough time to get back to the office and complete the test.
Problem solved.
Update [11/13/2007]: So I passed the thing with flying colors -- sort of like last year. I'm not too proud to say I did learn one thing: If you're employed by the State of Illinois, you can't accept as much as a bunny rabbit from someone doing business with you but if you're running for office, the same person can contribute $100k to your campaign.
That's ethics in Illinois.
Posted in Submitted by Leo Klein on Mon, 10/08/2007 - 1:50pm.
New 'CensorFree' Option Now Offered by Telcos
[Spoof based on the latest attempts at censorship by telco giants AT&T & Verizon]
CensorFree™ allows you to send and receive communications free of any interference on our part!
You can now communicate with whomever you like about whatever you like, unencumbered by our normal restrictions -- for the low introductory price of $9.99 a month*! With CensorFree™, you can:
- Avoid our normal vetting process as to what we consider "decent" and "appropriate".
- Speak your mind without us jamming or otherwise altering your content.
- Receive timely notification when we forward your material warrant-free to Federal authorities.
Eligibility and Requirements
- Caller and recipient must both subscribe to CensorFree™ -- otherwise the service only works in one direction.
- Caller and recipient must both be 18 years or older and agree to our "Telco Declaration of Personal Moral Probity".
- Contract lasts till caller and recipient are deceased and/or billing information becomes unavailable.
Restrictions
CensorFree™ supports text-messaging, web-surfing and email communication. We cannot promise that it will include any service or combination of services that we may offer in the future.
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* Federal and State taxes along with other fees and assessments not included.
Posted in Submitted by Leo Klein on Sat, 09/29/2007 - 11:41am.
84 Steps to Getting Square Corners in CSS
This one was funny. It comes from a spoof site called 'Drivl.com' which accepts user-submitted posts.
Step 4 for Getting Square Corners in CSS:
Squeeze the drippings from an uncooked 12 oz porterhouse steak onto the butcher paper, smear the steak around until a greasy sheen is clearly visible.
Posted in Submitted by Leo Klein on Sat, 02/24/2007 - 1:17pm.
Captcha for Humanists
Submission for the redesign of 'captcha' according to humanistic principles (patent pending):
